Managing Life With Children

The Last of the Newborns

Many couples have found that limiting the number of children they have is a good way to ensure they have the family they want, but there must come a time when they decide the last of the new borns has arrived. There is no hard number for each couple, and some want only one child. Other parents might decide on two, three or even five children before they stop. No matter how many children they decide to have, the last baby to be born will always be a bittersweet moment for those who have chosen to have no more children.

Setting the limit

There is usually one parent who is more eager than the other to stop having children at a certain point, and it often depends upon how they were brought up. A child raised without siblings is often eager to have at least two or three children. If they are with someone who was raised in a large family, that person might want fewer children. Setting the limit can be difficult, and it must be a compromise between what each person sees as a family unit. If they do not agree on the limit, seeking professional help with their quandary might be the best way to proceed.

A medical necessity

There are few people who want to be told they must limit the number of children they have, but there are times when it comes a medical necessity. Some women will be unable to physically carry another child, but it might also be a matter of extreme exhaustion that forces a medical professional to recommend it. Those who are already caring for many children will find that they can be worn so thin their body can take no more, and this is when physicians usually step in with their recommendation. They might suggest this should be the last child, but they can also recommend waiting a few years before the next one is born.

A bittersweet moment

Holding a new born is one of the gifts of life, but it can be a bittersweet moment when the one being held will not be followed by another. New parents are often eager to meet their child after the long wait, and they find peace and joy in the moment. Knowing they will never again experience holding another new born of their own can take away some of the joy they are feeling. For others, it can be a relief when they think of how difficult the next few months will be as they adjust to the needs of another baby.

There are no easy answers when it comes to limiting the size of a family, and many couples avoid talking about it unless an issue arises. While they might have discussed the number of children they wanted before their relationship matured, many of them begin realising they need limits as their children are born. Greeting their new child is a wonderful moment that will bring them a joy they have never felt, but knowing they need to agree upon a limit can be a handicap to their relationship.